Here We Go Again

It is 5:23 am, and we are on our way to Northside Hospital.  Again.  I noticed, the night before last, that my vision was shimmery in the same place it was when my retina detached three weeks ago.  I rushed in to Georgia Retina - after a shower, of course, I'm not an animal - and found that my retina has detached once again.  The doctor said that one of my tears had retorn.  I was not aware I'd had two.

Surgery is scheduled for 8 am, so we are supposed to be there at 6.  This time, rather than another scleral buckle, I will have a vitrectomy, in which the vitreous will be removed from my eye and replaced with a gas bubble.  Eventually, my eye will fill with a different liquid and absorb the gas.  This is supposed to be an easier surgery - no cutting of eye or muscle, no squeezing, no stitches - so I am hopeful that it will be a less involved recovery, although it sounds like it might be more bedrest, which will be difficult for me.  There is a 50% chance that I will develop a cataract and will need another surgery soon, but I think this surgery is the right one for me today.

I am scared, but much less so than the first time because I know what to expect, more or less.  The hardest part for me will be missing the rest of G's summer vacation.  I feel like between the surgeries, stress, and work, I have not been there for him enough.  I also feel like Matt has had to do everything for so long now.  He has cooked, cleaned, gotten Chip ready for bed, driven us everywhere, and so many other things, all while holding down a busy and stressful full-time job.  Now, he will have to continue to do so much and I hate that.  I will really need to pamper him as soon as I can.

Our friends have been such a blessing to us.  I dislike few things more than to depend upon others, but I have had to do that so often in this past year.  The many, many kindnesses and real effort that have been directed our way really amaze us and humble us.

We are hoping that, in a year that has brought miscarriage, uterine infection, a heart scare and endless testing and monitoring, a respiratory infection, and now two detached retinas; the second half of the year will be smooth sailing.  I am so tired of myself and my problems, and I would like to have nice, boring status updates on Facebook like "weeded the front yard today" or "went to the store with G...  yawwwwwwn."  And if I could actually attand my son's birthday party tomorrow evening, that would be fantab. 

Well, we have just reached the hospital, so here goes.  Here's to a sober surgeon and especially delicious ice chips!